BOTTOM LINE, each of us needs to handle being out or not, in their own way. But what is patently offensive is that someone else makes their judgement call to bring someone else's sexual orientation to the light of the masses. The sexual preference of Bob, Carol, Ted or Alice is not 'discussed' why should Sean, or Sam or Francois be discussed, unless the individual cares to make it public. Let the co-workers think what ever they want to think. With whom I sleep and what I do in the bedroom is none of their business. I do not care one bit if the deduce that I am gay, who really cares! But it is not some Faggot's job to tell the world that I am gay! It is highly likely people "know", and "frankly my dear, I do not give a damn". I work with a whole covey of fairies. BUT I will not allow not one of them to address me as "Grrl Friend" at work. I claimed all over this Queen for doing so and told him it would not happen again! That is what I consider unprofessional!
I see ads from time to time some gay guy is at his office alone working and invites unknown persons to come and they will have sex at the office! Imagine getting caught! Sorta like getting caught having sex in public and going to jail! RUDE and not good for ones employment! i.e. Foley! If someone wants to wear a pink BOA to work, that is THEIR business, but because THEY want to do it does not mean I want to do it.
Gay folks need to learn how to be gentlemen in a public forum, and be the tramp you are at a bar, in a bathhouse, or in Griffith Park. Like when our buddy George Michael gets caught having sex in public, that is his choice! BUT he does not choose to be a big faggot on stage when performing. Two different venues. HIS choice!
If anyone wants to come out, their choice, if they want to stay in the closet, their choice. NOT ours! Personally I have gone to every social gathering my lovers company has, and I am just Ben's 'friend'. I am sure people can deduce we are partners, but why do we need to 'announce' this is my lover?
When unmarried couples who might live together do not say this is the broad I am fucking. and neither should we!
Martha would be motified!
A really bad problem with gay guys introducing their partner at the Easter party, then for July 4th they have a new partner, then Labor a new partner, and..... get the idea!
Gay guys meet on Fri night fuck like dogs and move in together the next week. That is not a "lover" or "partner" that is two bitch dogs in heat. I have this wonderful couple that just moved in next door. Darling boys! Cute as buttons! They dated for a year before moving in together. Smart boys!
So, if you want to yell from the rooftops that you are gay, grrlfriend, go for it. BUT please do not volunteer that I am gay, or I might scratch your eyes out! LOL!!!
''atheists''???????????? I have a question, why on earth was this interjected into to be or not to be, OUT in the workplace. Personally, being a Jew, a Chritians, Buddhist, or a atheists has zip to addressing the issue of being out ot not in the workplace. Actually to be or not to be out is a individual decision. Which brings uo someone that likes to OUT people because he is a rejected Queer Cuban, I think he calls himself 'perez hilton' Perez Hilton celebrity gossip blog is the source for Hollywood gossip, juicy celebrity rumors, celeb scandals, and the latest celebrity gossip. Personall I would like to punch the Queen OUT! Because he is a second rate citizen by outing people, and not having the balls to at least use his real name so he can be sued! WHIMP!
I bet your Cuban family is real proud of you!
I totally agree with Harley Davidson's philosophy and point-of-view, in regard to coming out on the job. I must admit that I'm a little surprised with the general tone of negativity in the various comments.
Everyone has a different life experience, so what may be the case at your office may not necessarily reflect what happens to someone else at their office. I'm sure someone working in San Francisco has a different work experience than someone working in Jackson, Mississippi.
One must remember that a job enables you to buy food. One must remember that a job enables you to rent an apartment or buy a house. One must remember that a job enables you to pay the bills. Unless you're independently wealthy, with a million/billion dollar trust fund, you've got to work in order to live. Without a doubt, being self-employed is the most ideal work environment, because you are your own boss. You can arrive late at the office. In fact if you wish, you can arrive late at the office wearing leather and chaps playing Village People songs. Shockingly, you can even come out to your boss, because YOU are the boss.
Unfortunately, many of us in the gay community are not self-employed, and we certainly can't wear leather and chaps to the office: IBM, the White House, Microsoft, or Macy's. If you want to eat, pay the bills, and have a roof over your head you've got to essentially play by the employers' rules. Let's not fool ourselves-- many employers may not particularly have warm and positive feelings for the GLBT community, just like many employers may not particularly have warm and positive feelings for liberal Democrats, right-wing Republicans, atheists, or Nazis. Not at all! An employee is living in a fantasy world, if he expects universal approval from his employer concerning many things--including sexual orientation. In an ideal world, coming out at work would be wonderful and life-affirming; but we don't live in an ideal world. Some of you may live in a more ideal world than others, but many of us don't.
Most people need a job, and an employee should think twice before making a few waves. Announcing that you're gay may make a few waves. Announcing that you're a right-wing Republican may make a few waves.
BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS. Beggars need to pay the bills, and you're basically at the mercy of your employer.
I found this article offensive, laden with self-hatred, and generally uninformed. The article essentially advocates that queers remain in the closet at work. Shame! While I agree that all employees should maintain a certain level of professionalism, this does not mean that being gay equates to being unprofessional. This is the message conveyed by the article.
I think it is irresponsible to convey the message that employees should not be out at work. Being gay at work normalizes our lifestyle. If we are uncomfortable with our lifestyle how can we expect others to think differently?
I?m not saying that everyone needs to be a flag waving fag like me, but I do think we should be comfortable talking about having dinner with our partners just as our boss is comfortable talking about what he did with his wife the other night.
Fear will not get us anywhere. Admittedly, there will be some struggles along the way, but our community must unify and remain steadfast in our search for acceptance.
Jeepers, Harley. Are you NUTS? Saying "the workplace is not a place to make friends" is silly. People spend a ton of their waking hours with their coworkers, and determining that you don't want to be socially connected to coworkers is just plain silly.
I Came Out in one of the most conservative companies in Utah--all Mormon leadership, most of my coworkers were staunch Mormons. Not exactly a gay-friendly environment. By the time I left that company five years hence, I'd successfully lobbied for "sexual orientation" to be added to the company's non-discrimination policy, and had 2,000 mostly-Mormon coworkers who treated me just like they treated everyone else. Importantly, they were/are my friends because I was genuine. They asked about my weekend, what restaurants my boyfriend and I recommended in various neighbourhoods, if I had a good vacation in San Francisco, etc. I gained many friends who continue in my life--6 years after leaving the company.
My life would be less interesting without them, and those people would not be part of my world if I hadn't been honest.
I'm not saying you need to say "Hi, I'm Harley and I'm a big homo" to every person you meet in the business world. I have many interactions with temporary clients and one-time meetings that require no social chat. But the people I work with every day...of course they know.
The only way we change the world is to be open about who we are. We need straight allies (especially straight MEN, women are easy) so that in the future it's less and less of an issue for EVERYONE.
I think each person should mind their own private life while at work. I don't care if the person I'm working with is gay/str8/bi black / white / yellow / red / brown I do care that work is being done and finished correctly!
Some people thought I was gay at work and some didn't think it, others weren't sure and I simply never said. No one ever asked me! I did my work, put out the fires, laughed when I needed to, wore many hats and did ok. I cannot complain and I worked in aerospace.
Now I'm retired.
It ain't nobodys business if I do.